Why are you still single?
Why am I still single? Well, I went on a couple of different dates this weekend, and I will try to do a quick recap as unbiased as possible to help give a good response to this all-too-common question. Pay attention because the two different names involved could get confusing. *I am not writing this because I take any of it really seriously. I am not writing this to get back at anyone. I am writing this partly as a satire and partly as a prime example of why I am still single.*
Thursday night I went out with a guy who I will call Ted for the sake of anonymity. I thought Ted was cute. He had told my friend to give me his number because he thought the same. I asked if he wanted to go dancing that night, and he said yes. He picked me up and we drove out to the venue. He mentioned the word date, and I kind of felt bad because I had already invited another friend to go without realizing it was a date. The three of us hung out that night for a while, and then I left with Ted and drove back to my place. We talked for a couple of hours at the park by my house. We kissed for all of about 10 seconds tops right before he left. I got a text that night saying it was hands down the best first date he had ever been on.
Friday I had a wedding I was shooting until around 9:30pm. Ted had asked earlier when I'd be done, so I texted him once I had left. Once I was home I told him I was pretty tired, but he was welcome to stop by after his party if he wanted to. He said of course and came on by about twenty minutes later. He stayed for a couple of hours, and I was super tired so I hinted that I wanted to go to bed. Ted left and texted me a nice follow-up text saying thanks for letting him come over and that I was fun to be around. He asked what I was doing the next night, and I let him know I had a date.
Saturday night I had a date with someone I will refer to as John. Before I left on the date, however, I got a text from Ted saying he knew I was busy, but he would like to take me out on Tuesday if I didn't have anything going on. Apparently John and Ted are buddies. John told Ted he was taking me on a date earlier that day without realizing Ted had already been talking to me. I had a great time with John. I decided to text Ted back after my date with John and say "sorry, but I'm just not feeling the same way."
Sunday night John wanted to do something again. I went over to spend some time with him, and Ted gets brought up. Apparently John texted Ted to make sure the bromance was still in tact and that he didn't mean to step on any toes or break the 'bro code'. Ted responds back that he didn't even know Thursday was a date, and I must have just thought that it was. He tells John to go for it because I had been the one who asked for his number in the first place so it wasn't a big deal. He even had the nerve to tell John that we had basically made out and then he peaced out.
Are you kidding me??
THIS is why I am still single.